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Author
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Topic: Oldie but goodie
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted March 09, 2013 12:34 PM
Minneesota Humor
Timmy and the Doctor
Tim vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidently cut off all ten off his fingers.
He vent to da emergency room at da Clinic and vhen he got dere da Norsky doctor looked at Tim and said, "Let's haf da fingers and I'll see vhat I can do."
TA said, "I hafn't got da fingers, ya no."
"Vhat do you mean, you hafn't got da fingers? Yumpin' yiminy! It's 2005! Ve got microsurgery and all kinds off stuff. I could haf put dem back on and made you like new!”
“Vhy didn't you bring da fingers?"
TA replied... "How da heck was I s'posed to pick 'em up?"
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31459 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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TA17Rem
Hello, I'm the legendary Tim Anderson, Field Marshall, Southern Minneesota Sector
Member # 794
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posted March 09, 2013 02:16 PM
Sorry leonard but you are off a little on the number of fingers. I only have eight.. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Frank; Did anyone hear about Leonard and his accident.
Tom: No. what happened.
Frank; Well Leonard was rideing a horse and got his foot caught in the stirrup.
Tom; So then what happened.
Frank: Well, luckily the K-mart manager ran over and pulled the da plug on da horse.....
[ March 09, 2013, 02:33 PM: Message edited by: TA17Rem ]
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What if I told you, the left wing and right wing both belong to same bird!
Posts: 5064 | From: S.D. | Registered: Jan 2006
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Frank
CAN START A FIRE WITH A BUCK KNIFE AND A ROCK
Member # 6
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posted March 11, 2013 07:08 AM
A lot of you are probably aware of the Great Lakes Icebreakers - that begin to be real busy now - these ships with sharp prows to cut through pack ice work tirelessly into the cold winter months to keep the shipping channels open for the Great Lakes freighters that bring supplies from all over the world to the United States. AND - of course these freighters take supplies from many of the Great Lakes ports to other ports - keeping the economies of all our northern cities going strong. I think it is high time that we give thanks to these dedicated Michigan folks who are out there in all sort of extreme weather - keeping the shipping lanes open and free of ice - and of course keeping the ships and crews safe on their journeys.
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[ March 11, 2013, 12:59 PM: Message edited by: Frank ]
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"Truth is no prostitute, that throws herself away upon those who do not desire her; she is rather so coy a beauty that he who sacrifices everything to her cannot even then be sure of her favor".
Posts: 644 | From: North Dakota | Registered: Jan 2003
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Frank
CAN START A FIRE WITH A BUCK KNIFE AND A ROCK
Member # 6
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posted March 13, 2013 03:05 PM
What deep thinkers men are...
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about an age old question:
Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case. Time for another beer.
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"Truth is no prostitute, that throws herself away upon those who do not desire her; she is rather so coy a beauty that he who sacrifices everything to her cannot even then be sure of her favor".
Posts: 644 | From: North Dakota | Registered: Jan 2003
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Baldknobber
Knows what it's all about
Member # 514
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posted March 13, 2013 05:05 PM
Now that right there is some cowboy logic. I like the way you think Frank!!
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JTBMO
Posts: 202 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jan 2005
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