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Author
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Topic: a little late, but I like the sentiment....
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted March 18, 2007 09:09 AM
We celebrate Saint Pádraig tomorrow, "Saint Patrick" to you non-Irish
heathen. In his honor, this story:
Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his
telephone rings.
"Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy
down at
the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you
that we
are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How
big is
your army?"
"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is
meself, me
Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team
from
the pub. That makes eight!"
Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my
army
waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back.
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Marphy's farm tractor."
Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks
and
5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to
150,000 since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
still
on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie
McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"
Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell
you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military
bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"
"Holy Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."
"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden
change of
heart?"
"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and
decided there is no way we can feed 200,000 French prisoners."
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 32368 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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TA17Rem
Hello, I'm the legendary Tim Anderson, Southern Minneesota Know it all
Member # 794
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posted March 18, 2007 09:48 AM
LOL Leonard ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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What if I told you, the left wing and right wing both belong to same bird!
Posts: 5620 | From: S.D. | Registered: Jan 2006
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