This is topic Ann Coulter in forum Politics forum at The New Huntmastersbbs!.
To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://www.huntmastersbbs.com/cgi-bin/cgi-ubb/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=10;t=000358
Posted by Cdog911 (Member # 7) on March 05, 2008, 05:18 PM:
You just have to really like the way this lady writes.....
In today's e-mail-
The mainstream media said she was finished, but our brave Hillary soldiered on to wallop B. Hussein Obama in Ohio, Texas and Rhode Island Tuesday night. I don't know what the MSM is so upset about-- we let them pick the Republican nominee. Did they want to pick the Democratic nominee, too?
Not only that, but after some toothsome appearances on various madcap comedy shows this past week -- "Saturday Night Live," "Late Night With David Letterman," "Hardball With Chris Matthews" -- Hillary's "likability" quotient is soaring! According to the latest CNN/CBS News poll, she's just been upgraded from "Utterly Loathsome" to "Execrable."
The percentage of registered voters who would rather disembowel themselves with a wooden spoon than vote for Hillary has just slipped below the magical 50 percent mark. We're surging, Hillary! If you want to be even more likable, you should go on "The View." Next to those four harpies, you seem almost agreeable.
Now that Hillary has won three primaries in a row, it's time for Obama to do the classy thing and withdraw from the race. (Obama won Vermont, but that was earlier in the day. Exit polls indicate he took the black vote. Literally. There was just the one.)
Imagine how proud Michelle Obama would be of her country if that happened! But Obama probably won't do the classy thing, despite claiming to be a "new" kind of politician and rejecting the politics of division.
If Hillary is serious about becoming president, she's got to make some changes. I say this as a Hillary supporter and strong opponent of divorce. Hillary: You've got to divorce Bill. You've already fired one campaign manager. Now it's time to get rid of your No. 1 buzz-killer.
Not only is the media's group-lie about Bill Clinton being a "rock star" over, but -- one can hope -- the use of the excruciatingly stupid phrase "rock star" to refer to wonky politicians is over. It's become such a cliche that music critics have begun referring to actual rock stars as "leading Democratic contenders."
Liberals believe, often accurately, that if they say the same thing over and over again 1 billion times, people will believe it: "Bush lied, kids died," "We've lost in Iraq," "Reagan is stupid," "Bush is stupid," "Republicans are stupid," "Global warming is destroying the planet," "Gloria Steinem is good-looking" and -- their most provably false assertion -- "Bill Clinton is the most talented politician of his generation."
In a period of just a few short months last year, "news" articles in The New York Times cooed -- I mean "said" -- the following about Bill Clinton:
-- "Elvis is here, Clinton version. Having Bill Clinton campaign for you, as Mr. Ford learns, is a mixed blessing. You are bolstered standing next to this outsized Democrat, but still seem puny by comparison."
-- "Mr. Clinton is one Oscar-worthy supporting actor who can sometimes upstage his leading lady simply by breathing."
-- "Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has been trying to capture Bill Clinton's old political magic and lay claim to his legacy and popularity."
-- Tony Blair's charisma "ranks second only to Bill Clinton's."
Not to be a stickler, but Bill Clinton is the guy who could never get as much as 50 percent of the country to vote for him. And that was in two presidential elections that the Republicans basically sat out (as they are doing this year).
It was also in elections held before the country realized "Elvis" Clinton was molesting the help. If Bill Clinton is the Democrats' idea of Elvis, somebody should tell them he's playing to half-empty houses.
Besides the joy liberals take in lying generally, they have massive Reagan envy. Despite having informed us the requisite 1 billion times that Reagan was a dunce, Americans adored him, and still do.
Democrats wanted one of their presidents to be adored, too -- and not just for being assassinated. But they only seemed able to produce laughable incompetents like Jimmy Carter.
So no matter how preposterous it was, liberals just kept telling us that the chubby kid with the big red nose whose greatest moment on the football field involved a wind instrument was "Elvis." According to Nexis, that appellation has been applied to Clinton approximately 1,000 times. In print, that is. There's no telling how many drunken cocktail waitresses have whispered it in Clinton's ear during late-night elevator assignations.
You can stop lying for the voters now, Hillary. This is me, Ann Coulter, your supporter.
This charade of a marriage has gone on long enough. Even if you were stupid enough to marry him back in the '70s, Bill is just so over, girlfriend. He can't even get Holiday Inn cocktail waitresses anymore. Last I heard, he was hitting on the Motel 6 housekeeping staff.
You're too good for him, Hillary. Obama has now denounced and rejected Louis Farrakhan. It's time for you to denounce and reject Bill Clinton.
Obama excites voters by offering to be the first black president. You've got a chance to make history by becoming the first divorcee to win the White House.
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on March 05, 2008, 05:37 PM:
I admit it. I think she's hot. And, smart. As a whip. She sure drives liberals nuts. But, vote for Hillary? I need a wooden spoon, please?
Good hunting. LB
Posted by duckndawg (Member # 829) on March 06, 2008, 09:53 AM:
I'd do old Ann!!!!!
Posted by 20gauge (Member # 2113) on March 06, 2008, 10:06 AM:
PRESIDENT BUSH DEFENDS ANN COULTER FROM SLANDEROUS LIBERAL ALLEGATIONS OF TRANSSEXUALITY
Press Briefing by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Please be seated. Let's get right down to business. This morning, I am joined here at the presidential podium by my good friend and tireless champion - the lovely and talented Ms. Ann Coulter.
MISS COULTER: That's "Miss Coulter," not "Ms."
THE PRESIDENT: My mistake. Please forgive me.
MISS COULTER: I would never be known as Ms. Coulter. "Ms." is liberal, Gloria Steinem code for "Attention all fat, hairy bull dykes within earshot! My hot clam requests the pleasure of your filthy tongue's epileptic company!"
THE PRESIDENT: I did not know that. But let's move on, because I am hopping mad. Earlier this morning, when I received my daily 5AM singing "Wake Up, Sleepyhead" call from Karen Hughes in Texas, I learned about a vicious, unsubstantiated, HATEFUL rumor which is being spread about Miss Coulter. Namely, that she is in fact a man.
MISS COULTER: This is exactly the kind of liberal lie that I expose in my book Slander, which is now available at fine booksellers nationwide (and online) for the almost offensively low sale price of $15.00. In this 240-page masterpiece, I effortlessly and brilliantly debunk every liberal myth about conservatives. Preposterous myths - like how we secretly hate kikes, jigaboos, gooks, faggots, spicks, and sand niggers - but have lately taken to twisting things around and make it sound like it's really the liberals who hate them.
THE PRESIDENT: And you do a splendid job of it, Ann.
MISS COULTER: I know that! I don't need you to tell me how splendid I am. Anyway, I thought we were talking about my book.
THE PRESIDENT: Actually, no, we're here because I want to help clear up this nonsense about you really being a man. Now I want everyone to know - there's simply no way this can be true. Never mind Ann's rich, gravelly baritone, her commanding height and forceful jawline - or the fact that she arm wrestles Arnold Schwarzenegger under the table every year at the GOP celebrity retreat in Branson, Missouri. Because yes, Miss Coulter is in fact a genuine piece of Grade-A poontang, and will one day soon become successfully impregnated by a wealthy and statuesque Aryan stallion, at which time she'll do like a good Republican lady and quit all this silly "working" and "pretending to know what she's talking about" and wearing "lady pantsuits." So I want you to all to read my lips and get this through your thick skulls: Ann Coulter has always been, and always will be a woman.
MISS COULTER: It's hardly a surprise that liberals would concoct such an absurd lie about me. They do it all the time. In fact, coming up with sickening lies about formerly flat-chested good girls who wear size 15 pumps is an integral part of one of their most important daily rituals - the ceremonial vivisection and cannibalization of living, white human infants.
THE PRESIDENT: Is that a fact?
MISS COULTER: Absolutely. And when they're done feasting on the tender young flesh of the white race, they regroup several hours later to defecate together on rug-sized reproductions of the United States Constitution. And then of course, they pray to Satan and Allah while strapping each other into latex gravity boot systems so they can hang upside down like rabid, naked fruit bats for the rest of the day and watch Phil Donahue on MSNBC while urine runs down their inverted torsos and in to their hideous, liberal, gaping maws!
THE PRESIDENT: The depth and accuracy of your knowledge never fails to amaze, Ann.
MISS COULTER: Don't patronize me. It won't work - because I haven't forgotten how you cozied up with Mr. Fatso Slut Murderer - Ted Kennedy - to write that Socialist education bill earlier this year. So tell me, President Bipartisan Lovefest, are you actually a liberal?
THE PRESIDENT: You know, I think I've successfully diffused this silly notion of you being a man. Why don't we wrap this up, Ann?
MISS COULTER: Answer the question! Are you now or have you ever been a member of the liberal intelligentsia?! Did you not attend Yale and Harvard Universities? Were you not born in CONNECTICUT?! Oh wait, so was I. Never mind on that one.
THE PRESIDENT: Guard! Please show Miss Coulter the door.
MISS COULTER: You can run from the truth, but you can't hide, LIBERAL! TRAITOR! I've got a throbbing eight-inch staff of conservative payback in my panties that's got your name written all over it!! So come on over and take it like a man!
THE PRESIDENT: Take her away, boys.
MISS COULTER: It's just a matter of time! The real right-wing of this country will have its revenge! We will storm your...
(Secret Service Scuffling & Muffled, Gruff Yelling.)
THE PRESIDENT: Thank you all for coming. God Bless America.
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on March 06, 2008, 10:12 AM:
heh heh, drives ya nuts, don't she, 20?
Posted by 20gauge (Member # 2113) on March 06, 2008, 10:13 AM:
I think you mean "he".
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on March 06, 2008, 10:16 AM:
....you wish!
Posted by 20gauge (Member # 2113) on March 06, 2008, 10:28 AM:
Hey, YOU'RE the one that wants to pork "Ann".
My tastes run more to Pastor Melissa Scott. Have you seen that chick? She single-handedly rekindled my interest in religion. That is one heavenly body...a religious figure I could get behind, literally. At first, I felt bad that I was wanting to bang the holy bejeezus out of her. Then I did a little internet research and learned that she is a former porn star who married old "DR." Gene Scott (many years her senior) and took over his televangecal rip off TV show. If you haven't seen this gal, tune her in. It's a real howl. She jabbers on for an hour referring to greek passages on the whiteboard and relating them to the bible. Easily the funniest thing on TV.
[ March 06, 2008, 02:06 PM: Message edited by: 20gauge ]
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on March 06, 2008, 10:49 AM:
As long as we're dreaming, I'd like a "twofer" please. Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham. Might as well die with a grin on my face.
Posted by Brad Norman (Member # 234) on March 06, 2008, 02:00 PM:
Leonard, I figured you for a horse man.
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on March 06, 2008, 02:14 PM:
Must be way too hip for me? ¿no comprende?
edit: I say that "nicely" by the way.
[ March 06, 2008, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: Leonard ]
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on March 06, 2008, 02:39 PM:
This is awesome!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cxbFLYa0_bw&feature=related
...and has nothing to do with anything, so what?
might as well watch this too!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=58CJih1iYC0&feature=related
[ March 06, 2008, 02:41 PM: Message edited by: Leonard ]
Posted by JoeF (Member # 228) on March 06, 2008, 04:27 PM:
I'm on dial-up so I don't do the youtube thing. On the other hand, I'd be honored, blessed, and fortunate beyond belief to "do" Ann.
Any red-blooded American male (shit-be cosmopolitan, any male) that would state otherwise needs to do a serious sack check.
Politics is not as important as we seem to be making it.
Throw in Laura and Kim Commando for those of us with ambitious fantasies!
Posted by Cdog911 (Member # 7) on March 06, 2008, 04:37 PM:
What can I say, Leonard. Except,... maybe,.... WTF!!! This has got to be just about the most acute tangent this board has ever taken. Talk about a sidetrack. WWW ADD. Jeepers!
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on March 06, 2008, 04:56 PM:
I know, I know! You need to hold on around here, Lance, the curves are pretty tight.
It don't figure, does it? I love Queen, not kidding.
Good hunting. LB
Posted by Tim Behle (Member # 209) on March 06, 2008, 05:21 PM:
I can't believe it Leonard!
How can you feature the musical genius of Freddy Mercury, and not give a line to Bohemian Rhapsody One of Rocks all time greatest hits?
Posted by 20gauge (Member # 2113) on March 06, 2008, 05:47 PM:
Leonard, don't let JD know you got a thing for Freddy Mercury...he'll tie yer ass to a post and whip ya.
Posted by Brad Norman (Member # 234) on March 06, 2008, 05:50 PM:
Ann Coulter is about as horse headed as they come. Sometimes when they look like that they are called "snake headed".
Posted by 20gauge (Member # 2113) on March 06, 2008, 06:21 PM:
fiddle-head nag
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on March 06, 2008, 06:28 PM:
Nah, it's just tall willowy blondes with legs that go all the way up. Besides that, she's brilliant, and drives liberal intellectuals friggin' nuts. Why? I don't know, she looks like one of THEM.
As requested:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=irp8CNj9qBI&feature=related
Posted by Az-Hunter (Member # 17) on March 06, 2008, 07:10 PM:
Ann Coulter huh?.....man; a poor dog would starve to death gnawing on that gaunt bone. I just don't see the appeal, "willowy", is being generous in description. She looks like she was a member in the Jenny Craig weight loss center at Buchenwald to my eye?
Posted by Cdog911 (Member # 7) on March 06, 2008, 07:36 PM:
Physical attributes aside, I appreciate her for the fact that she may be a woman, but she has more balls than any male counterpart at speaking her mind and saying what everyone is too scared to utter in public. I like people that don't give a damn what other people think. Not all the time, but most.
Her annoying 20 gauge is all the better.
[ March 07, 2008, 06:49 PM: Message edited by: Cdog911 ]
Posted by 20gauge (Member # 2113) on March 07, 2008, 02:33 PM:
"...but she has more balls than any male counterpart..."
I think we're in agreement here Cdog.
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on March 07, 2008, 02:41 PM:
I can't believe you, 20! Complete agreement? Hello! He misspelled a word!
Posted by 20gauge (Member # 2113) on March 07, 2008, 02:58 PM:
Not "complete agreement". Just agreement on Ann Coulter (aka Arthur Coltrane) having balls. Big ones.
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on March 07, 2008, 03:11 PM:
that was a test. You passed.
Posted by Cdog911 (Member # 7) on March 07, 2008, 06:50 PM:
Better?
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on March 07, 2008, 07:05 PM:
Much better, thanks! Now, you're gonna think I'm anal, but I'm not!
Posted by Cdog911 (Member # 7) on March 09, 2008, 06:10 AM:
Here's your "much better"...
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is pretty hot as battle ax politicos go
http://gov.state.ak.us/official_portraits.php
No frost bite there!
Posted by Tim Behle (Member # 209) on March 11, 2008, 03:02 AM:
Do you think the folks in Alaska would be willing to trade?
Posted by Cdog911 (Member # 7) on March 11, 2008, 04:38 AM:
Worth asking about. They've always said that Alaska has, like, eight men for every woman, but what they failed to include was that the women they do have are ten times better than down here. I've always pictured the stereotypical Alaskan Innuit woman from one horizon to the other. Imagine my surprise!
Posted by smithers (Member # 646) on March 11, 2008, 06:49 PM:
Governor Palin looks to have a McCain-esk jawline. Very pronounced. It also looks like "She" didn't want to fork over the extra money to have her Adam's Apple shaved down during the "operation".
Andy Coulter... LOL!
UBB.classicTM
6.3.0