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Author
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Topic: Ann Coulter
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Cdog911
"There are some ideas so absurd only an intellectual could believe them."--George Orwell.
Member # 7
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posted March 05, 2008 05:18 PM
You just have to really like the way this lady writes.....
In today's e-mail-
The mainstream media said she was finished, but our brave Hillary soldiered on to wallop B. Hussein Obama in Ohio, Texas and Rhode Island Tuesday night. I don't know what the MSM is so upset about-- we let them pick the Republican nominee. Did they want to pick the Democratic nominee, too?
Not only that, but after some toothsome appearances on various madcap comedy shows this past week -- "Saturday Night Live," "Late Night With David Letterman," "Hardball With Chris Matthews" -- Hillary's "likability" quotient is soaring! According to the latest CNN/CBS News poll, she's just been upgraded from "Utterly Loathsome" to "Execrable."
The percentage of registered voters who would rather disembowel themselves with a wooden spoon than vote for Hillary has just slipped below the magical 50 percent mark. We're surging, Hillary! If you want to be even more likable, you should go on "The View." Next to those four harpies, you seem almost agreeable.
Now that Hillary has won three primaries in a row, it's time for Obama to do the classy thing and withdraw from the race. (Obama won Vermont, but that was earlier in the day. Exit polls indicate he took the black vote. Literally. There was just the one.)
Imagine how proud Michelle Obama would be of her country if that happened! But Obama probably won't do the classy thing, despite claiming to be a "new" kind of politician and rejecting the politics of division.
If Hillary is serious about becoming president, she's got to make some changes. I say this as a Hillary supporter and strong opponent of divorce. Hillary: You've got to divorce Bill. You've already fired one campaign manager. Now it's time to get rid of your No. 1 buzz-killer.
Not only is the media's group-lie about Bill Clinton being a "rock star" over, but -- one can hope -- the use of the excruciatingly stupid phrase "rock star" to refer to wonky politicians is over. It's become such a cliche that music critics have begun referring to actual rock stars as "leading Democratic contenders."
Liberals believe, often accurately, that if they say the same thing over and over again 1 billion times, people will believe it: "Bush lied, kids died," "We've lost in Iraq," "Reagan is stupid," "Bush is stupid," "Republicans are stupid," "Global warming is destroying the planet," "Gloria Steinem is good-looking" and -- their most provably false assertion -- "Bill Clinton is the most talented politician of his generation."
In a period of just a few short months last year, "news" articles in The New York Times cooed -- I mean "said" -- the following about Bill Clinton:
-- "Elvis is here, Clinton version. Having Bill Clinton campaign for you, as Mr. Ford learns, is a mixed blessing. You are bolstered standing next to this outsized Democrat, but still seem puny by comparison."
-- "Mr. Clinton is one Oscar-worthy supporting actor who can sometimes upstage his leading lady simply by breathing."
-- "Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton has been trying to capture Bill Clinton's old political magic and lay claim to his legacy and popularity."
-- Tony Blair's charisma "ranks second only to Bill Clinton's."
Not to be a stickler, but Bill Clinton is the guy who could never get as much as 50 percent of the country to vote for him. And that was in two presidential elections that the Republicans basically sat out (as they are doing this year).
It was also in elections held before the country realized "Elvis" Clinton was molesting the help. If Bill Clinton is the Democrats' idea of Elvis, somebody should tell them he's playing to half-empty houses.
Besides the joy liberals take in lying generally, they have massive Reagan envy. Despite having informed us the requisite 1 billion times that Reagan was a dunce, Americans adored him, and still do.
Democrats wanted one of their presidents to be adored, too -- and not just for being assassinated. But they only seemed able to produce laughable incompetents like Jimmy Carter.
So no matter how preposterous it was, liberals just kept telling us that the chubby kid with the big red nose whose greatest moment on the football field involved a wind instrument was "Elvis." According to Nexis, that appellation has been applied to Clinton approximately 1,000 times. In print, that is. There's no telling how many drunken cocktail waitresses have whispered it in Clinton's ear during late-night elevator assignations.
You can stop lying for the voters now, Hillary. This is me, Ann Coulter, your supporter.
This charade of a marriage has gone on long enough. Even if you were stupid enough to marry him back in the '70s, Bill is just so over, girlfriend. He can't even get Holiday Inn cocktail waitresses anymore. Last I heard, he was hitting on the Motel 6 housekeeping staff.
You're too good for him, Hillary. Obama has now denounced and rejected Louis Farrakhan. It's time for you to denounce and reject Bill Clinton.
Obama excites voters by offering to be the first black president. You've got a chance to make history by becoming the first divorcee to win the White House.
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I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Posts: 5440 | From: The gun-lovin', gun-friendly wild, wild west | Registered: Jan 2003
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted March 05, 2008 05:37 PM
I admit it. I think she's hot. And, smart. As a whip. She sure drives liberals nuts. But, vote for Hillary? I need a wooden spoon, please?
Good hunting. LB
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 32361 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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duckndawg
PAKMAN
Member # 829
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posted March 06, 2008 09:53 AM
I'd do old Ann!!!!!
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Perserverance is a virtue,,,unless your an idiot
Posts: 6 | From: central Kansas | Registered: Apr 2006
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20gauge
Knows what it's all about
Member # 2113
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posted March 06, 2008 10:06 AM
PRESIDENT BUSH DEFENDS ANN COULTER FROM SLANDEROUS LIBERAL ALLEGATIONS OF TRANSSEXUALITY
Press Briefing by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Please be seated. Let's get right down to business. This morning, I am joined here at the presidential podium by my good friend and tireless champion - the lovely and talented Ms. Ann Coulter.
MISS COULTER: That's "Miss Coulter," not "Ms."
THE PRESIDENT: My mistake. Please forgive me.
MISS COULTER: I would never be known as Ms. Coulter. "Ms." is liberal, Gloria Steinem code for "Attention all fat, hairy bull dykes within earshot! My hot clam requests the pleasure of your filthy tongue's epileptic company!"
THE PRESIDENT: I did not know that. But let's move on, because I am hopping mad. Earlier this morning, when I received my daily 5AM singing "Wake Up, Sleepyhead" call from Karen Hughes in Texas, I learned about a vicious, unsubstantiated, HATEFUL rumor which is being spread about Miss Coulter. Namely, that she is in fact a man.
MISS COULTER: This is exactly the kind of liberal lie that I expose in my book Slander, which is now available at fine booksellers nationwide (and online) for the almost offensively low sale price of $15.00. In this 240-page masterpiece, I effortlessly and brilliantly debunk every liberal myth about conservatives. Preposterous myths - like how we secretly hate kikes, jigaboos, gooks, faggots, spicks, and sand niggers - but have lately taken to twisting things around and make it sound like it's really the liberals who hate them.
THE PRESIDENT: And you do a splendid job of it, Ann.
MISS COULTER: I know that! I don't need you to tell me how splendid I am. Anyway, I thought we were talking about my book.
THE PRESIDENT: Actually, no, we're here because I want to help clear up this nonsense about you really being a man. Now I want everyone to know - there's simply no way this can be true. Never mind Ann's rich, gravelly baritone, her commanding height and forceful jawline - or the fact that she arm wrestles Arnold Schwarzenegger under the table every year at the GOP celebrity retreat in Branson, Missouri. Because yes, Miss Coulter is in fact a genuine piece of Grade-A poontang, and will one day soon become successfully impregnated by a wealthy and statuesque Aryan stallion, at which time she'll do like a good Republican lady and quit all this silly "working" and "pretending to know what she's talking about" and wearing "lady pantsuits." So I want you to all to read my lips and get this through your thick skulls: Ann Coulter has always been, and always will be a woman.
MISS COULTER: It's hardly a surprise that liberals would concoct such an absurd lie about me. They do it all the time. In fact, coming up with sickening lies about formerly flat-chested good girls who wear size 15 pumps is an integral part of one of their most important daily rituals - the ceremonial vivisection and cannibalization of living, white human infants.
THE PRESIDENT: Is that a fact?
MISS COULTER: Absolutely. And when they're done feasting on the tender young flesh of the white race, they regroup several hours later to defecate together on rug-sized reproductions of the United States Constitution. And then of course, they pray to Satan and Allah while strapping each other into latex gravity boot systems so they can hang upside down like rabid, naked fruit bats for the rest of the day and watch Phil Donahue on MSNBC while urine runs down their inverted torsos and in to their hideous, liberal, gaping maws!
THE PRESIDENT: The depth and accuracy of your knowledge never fails to amaze, Ann.
MISS COULTER: Don't patronize me. It won't work - because I haven't forgotten how you cozied up with Mr. Fatso Slut Murderer - Ted Kennedy - to write that Socialist education bill earlier this year. So tell me, President Bipartisan Lovefest, are you actually a liberal?
THE PRESIDENT: You know, I think I've successfully diffused this silly notion of you being a man. Why don't we wrap this up, Ann?
MISS COULTER: Answer the question! Are you now or have you ever been a member of the liberal intelligentsia?! Did you not attend Yale and Harvard Universities? Were you not born in CONNECTICUT?! Oh wait, so was I. Never mind on that one.
THE PRESIDENT: Guard! Please show Miss Coulter the door.
MISS COULTER: You can run from the truth, but you can't hide, LIBERAL! TRAITOR! I've got a throbbing eight-inch staff of conservative payback in my panties that's got your name written all over it!! So come on over and take it like a man!
THE PRESIDENT: Take her away, boys.
MISS COULTER: It's just a matter of time! The real right-wing of this country will have its revenge! We will storm your...
(Secret Service Scuffling & Muffled, Gruff Yelling.)
THE PRESIDENT: Thank you all for coming. God Bless America.
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Science Nazi
Posts: 136 | From: PHX | Registered: Nov 2007
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted March 06, 2008 10:12 AM
heh heh, drives ya nuts, don't she, 20?
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 32361 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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20gauge
Knows what it's all about
Member # 2113
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posted March 06, 2008 10:13 AM
I think you mean "he".
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Science Nazi
Posts: 136 | From: PHX | Registered: Nov 2007
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted March 06, 2008 10:16 AM
....you wish!
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 32361 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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20gauge
Knows what it's all about
Member # 2113
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posted March 06, 2008 10:28 AM
Hey, YOU'RE the one that wants to pork "Ann".
My tastes run more to Pastor Melissa Scott. Have you seen that chick? She single-handedly rekindled my interest in religion. That is one heavenly body...a religious figure I could get behind, literally. At first, I felt bad that I was wanting to bang the holy bejeezus out of her. Then I did a little internet research and learned that she is a former porn star who married old "DR." Gene Scott (many years her senior) and took over his televangecal rip off TV show. If you haven't seen this gal, tune her in. It's a real howl. She jabbers on for an hour referring to greek passages on the whiteboard and relating them to the bible. Easily the funniest thing on TV.
[ March 06, 2008, 02:06 PM: Message edited by: 20gauge ]
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Science Nazi
Posts: 136 | From: PHX | Registered: Nov 2007
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted March 06, 2008 10:49 AM
As long as we're dreaming, I'd like a "twofer" please. Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham. Might as well die with a grin on my face.
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 32361 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Brad Norman
Okie Dokie
Member # 234
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posted March 06, 2008 02:00 PM
Leonard, I figured you for a horse man.
Posts: 298 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Aug 2003
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted March 06, 2008 02:14 PM
Must be way too hip for me? ¿no comprende?
edit: I say that "nicely" by the way.
[ March 06, 2008, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: Leonard ]
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 32361 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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JoeF
resides "back east"
Member # 228
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posted March 06, 2008 04:27 PM
I'm on dial-up so I don't do the youtube thing. On the other hand, I'd be honored, blessed, and fortunate beyond belief to "do" Ann.
Any red-blooded American male (shit-be cosmopolitan, any male) that would state otherwise needs to do a serious sack check.
Politics is not as important as we seem to be making it.
Throw in Laura and Kim Commando for those of us with ambitious fantasies!
Posts: 658 | From: Midwest | Registered: Aug 2003
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Cdog911
"There are some ideas so absurd only an intellectual could believe them."--George Orwell.
Member # 7
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posted March 06, 2008 04:37 PM
What can I say, Leonard. Except,... maybe,.... WTF!!! This has got to be just about the most acute tangent this board has ever taken. Talk about a sidetrack. WWW ADD. Jeepers!
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I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Posts: 5440 | From: The gun-lovin', gun-friendly wild, wild west | Registered: Jan 2003
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted March 06, 2008 04:56 PM
I know, I know! You need to hold on around here, Lance, the curves are pretty tight.
It don't figure, does it? I love Queen, not kidding.
Good hunting. LB
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 32361 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Tim Behle
Administrator MacNeal Sector
Member # 209
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posted March 06, 2008 05:21 PM
I can't believe it Leonard!
How can you feature the musical genius of Freddy Mercury, and not give a line to Bohemian Rhapsody One of Rocks all time greatest hits?
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Personally, I carry a gun because I'm too young to die and too old to take
an ass kickin'.
Posts: 3160 | From: Five Miles East of Vic, AZ | Registered: Jun 2003
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20gauge
Knows what it's all about
Member # 2113
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posted March 06, 2008 05:47 PM
Leonard, don't let JD know you got a thing for Freddy Mercury...he'll tie yer ass to a post and whip ya.
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Science Nazi
Posts: 136 | From: PHX | Registered: Nov 2007
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Brad Norman
Okie Dokie
Member # 234
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posted March 06, 2008 05:50 PM
Ann Coulter is about as horse headed as they come. Sometimes when they look like that they are called "snake headed".
Posts: 298 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Aug 2003
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20gauge
Knows what it's all about
Member # 2113
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posted March 06, 2008 06:21 PM
fiddle-head nag
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Science Nazi
Posts: 136 | From: PHX | Registered: Nov 2007
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted March 06, 2008 06:28 PM
Nah, it's just tall willowy blondes with legs that go all the way up. Besides that, she's brilliant, and drives liberal intellectuals friggin' nuts. Why? I don't know, she looks like one of THEM.
As requested:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=irp8CNj9qBI&feature=related
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 32361 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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Az-Hunter
Hi, I'm Vic WELCOME TO THE U.S. Free baloney sandwiches here
Member # 17
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posted March 06, 2008 07:10 PM
Ann Coulter huh?.....man; a poor dog would starve to death gnawing on that gaunt bone. I just don't see the appeal, "willowy", is being generous in description. She looks like she was a member in the Jenny Craig weight loss center at Buchenwald to my eye?
Posts: 1670 | From: 5 miles west of Tim | Registered: Jan 2003
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Cdog911
"There are some ideas so absurd only an intellectual could believe them."--George Orwell.
Member # 7
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posted March 06, 2008 07:36 PM
Physical attributes aside, I appreciate her for the fact that she may be a woman, but she has more balls than any male counterpart at speaking her mind and saying what everyone is too scared to utter in public. I like people that don't give a damn what other people think. Not all the time, but most.
Her annoying 20 gauge is all the better.
[ March 07, 2008, 06:49 PM: Message edited by: Cdog911 ]
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I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Posts: 5440 | From: The gun-lovin', gun-friendly wild, wild west | Registered: Jan 2003
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20gauge
Knows what it's all about
Member # 2113
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posted March 07, 2008 02:33 PM
"...but she has more balls than any male counterpart..."
I think we're in agreement here Cdog.
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Science Nazi
Posts: 136 | From: PHX | Registered: Nov 2007
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted March 07, 2008 02:41 PM
I can't believe you, 20! Complete agreement? Hello! He misspelled a word!
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 32361 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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20gauge
Knows what it's all about
Member # 2113
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posted March 07, 2008 02:58 PM
Not "complete agreement". Just agreement on Ann Coulter (aka Arthur Coltrane) having balls. Big ones.
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Science Nazi
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posted March 06, 2008 02:39 PM
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