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Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on November 06, 2003, 05:27 AM:
California Governor elect, Arnold Schwarzenegger, has just announced an
agreement whereby English will remain the official language of
California rather than his native German, which was the other
possibility. As part of the "Terminator's" first improvements,
Californians conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and have accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known
as "Terminator-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they
should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech
ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
And zen Arnold wil tak over ze world!
GUTEN TAG!
[ November 06, 2003, 05:30 AM: Message edited by: Leonard ]
Posted by Neil (Member # 28) on November 07, 2003, 01:07 PM:
LOL
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