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Posted by Paul Melching (Member # 885) on December 01, 2017, 05:57 AM:
DIVORCE DECREE
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a our separation agreement:
--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
--We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
--We'll keep Bill O'Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .
--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."
--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".
--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
The Deplorables
P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Mitt, Meghan, both Clintons, Mr. And Mrs. O &
( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.
P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.
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Posted by NVWalt (Member # 375) on December 02, 2017, 01:53 AM:
Where do we file for divorce and when do they open?
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on December 02, 2017, 09:00 AM:
Hell, I'd settle for the proposal to divide the State of California into Two, Three or Four Separate States; make up your mind!
I can imagine a "Non Sanctuary Inland Empire". Might make me reconsider moving?
Good hunting. El Bee
Posted by TRnCO (Member # 690) on December 03, 2017, 03:35 PM:
I've never wanted to a divorce, but I could get on board with this one.
Posted by Leonard (Member # 2) on December 04, 2017, 08:20 AM:
Sure, divorce. But since Liberals are kinda like a wife, you can bet they will take everything we own, so to speak. They will take both coastlines and give us Lake Michigan. They will take America's Breadbasket and give us "The Border". Still, if they just go away with their "progressive" ideas, it might be worth it?
I imagine the first thing they will do is raise taxes on the middle-class so they pay "their fair share" whatever the hell that is? The assholes just love to spend other people's money! I keep telling you guys; Liberalism is a MENTAL ILLNESS. They should be in a padded cell!
Good hunting. El Bee
Posted by Kokopelli (Member # 633) on December 04, 2017, 10:13 AM:
Anybody seen the Divorced Barbie they came out with for Xmas ???
It comes with all of Ken's stuff !!!!
BwaaaaHaaaaHaaaa !!!!
Ok...........I'll go quietly.
Posted by Paul Melching (Member # 885) on December 04, 2017, 01:10 PM:
Been happily married 43 years now , first marriage we split 50 50 she got the inside I got the outside !
Posted by Aznative (Member # 506) on December 05, 2017, 12:36 PM:
I say give them the east and left coast. We'll take everything in the middle. Do you guys see the connection? The Liberal states are all breating salt water air. They need to ban salt water to disinfect their brains.
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