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Author
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Topic: Making progress
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Cdog911
"There are some ideas so absurd only an intellectual could believe them."--George Orwell.
Member # 7
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posted March 31, 2019 07:42 AM
With all the cop talk here, thought I'd share how my pride and joy son is learning so that we all can take a lesson from him.
Has had one relapse with meth, about two months ago after being sober for 15 months. Was I upset? Not so much. I expected him to fall much sooner than that, but he immediately went to his probation officer and confessed his sins.
Fast forward a couple weeks. The chick that he used with needs him to take him to the next city over to go shopping. It's his bday so she offers to buy him a burger and tries to pay with a counterfeit $100. Cops show up. Three of them. Block him in at the drive-in. They're both standing outside his car when one of the officers asks my son if he can search the car. Because he's on probation, he has no choice but to say yes to which the girl says, "Well, fuck, I'm going to jail". (and yes, he knows he needs to find new friends). Officers search the car and find meth and paraphernalia in her bag, an open container of hers and she's arrested. One of the officers gets in my son's face and accuses him of being high, being drunk, and just keeps pushing him. Told me he kept hearing my voice in his head, and rather than rising to the bait, he simply told the officer repeatedly that he was no longer a user, has not drank anything in weeks, was just at his probation officers a few hours before where he gave urine, and that he is clean and more than happy to submit to any testing they want to prove that. Never raised his voice, always respectful, understanding that the officer is pushing him to try and provoke him into saying something that will implicate himself, all while in front of the LEO's body cam. He stays respectful and calm, and the officer respectfully releases him to go home even though they had every right to charge him with transporting an open container. Respect begets respect.
This past weekend, he has a flat tire and he and this same chick and another girl are hoofing it to the other girl's house. It's 2 am. Cop pulls up and detains them. Asks for ID's. My son is the only one with an ID on him. Another cop pulls up. Cops tell them they want to search them. My son, on probation, is obligated to consent under his probation terms. The other two? Not so much. They could have declined. Cops tell the problem chick they smell alcohol on her breath and she admits to having a drink (she's 23). Take her purse and tell her they're going to search it. She argues but they do anyway. Find a small vial containing a white powder residue that she says she forgot was in there. My son continues to stand calmly by not saying a word. They end up releasing all three to continue walking home. End of contact. My son asks me about all this. I remind him that it's not illegal to walk at 2 am, nor was it illegal for a 23 y/o person to have had a drink. He asked if them searching her purse was legal and if they can, as they said they would, arrest her if the residue came back as meth. I told him that any good defense attorney would get all that thrown out since they had no probable cause to detain them in the first place. They knew that. They just wanted to confirm who they were so that is they rec'd reports of any sort of misbehavior in the area that night, they'd know who's door to knock on first. As far as them rattling the girl's cage and seizing her purse and the vial, part of what they do is prevent crime. Knowing that they could no nothing more than seize anything that might be drugs, they did what they did to intimidate her and make her feel uncomfortable hoping that doing so would give her reason to think twice about carrying or using illegal shit or drugs. Even if she never gets charged or convicted, at some point, she'll get tired of being stopped and hassled and some people - given that situation - just surrender and take the right path where they cane live hassle-free.
MY son has gotten smarter. He has learned that you can't be charged if you don't break the law. You be respectful and cooperate with the nice officer but don't volunteer information. Answer yes and no, and be truthful. And the most important piece of info I gave him comes from EMS training.. that officer is wearing a camera to record your interaction. Don't say or do anything that you aren't willing to see played on a huge monitor screen in front of a courtroom full of people who can change your life.
Despite the poor choices and misbehavior of a few LEO's, I do know for a fact that the vast majority are out there doing their best to protect and serve the public, and to keep us safe. The actions of a few, and an unsympathetic media with an agenda have portrayed LE as being strictly punitive rather than corrective. The courts are just now realizing the importance of emphasizing corrections over punishment in dealing with drug abuse and it's producing results.
As I told my son, "They're job is to catch you when you do wrong and correct your way of doing business. That's why the jail is called 'corrections'. And mind you, they will get your ass corrected, one way or another."
He appears to have learned his lesson, somewhat.
[ March 31, 2019, 07:47 AM: Message edited by: Cdog911 ]
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I am only one. But still, I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and, because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.
Posts: 5438 | From: The gun-lovin', gun-friendly wild, wild west | Registered: Jan 2003
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Paul Melching
Radical Operator Forum "You won't get past the front gate"
Member # 885
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posted March 31, 2019 08:23 AM
If he is to remain sober it might be a good idea to change playmates .She sounds Like a real problem .Glad he handled it well !
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Those who value security over liberty soon will have neither !
Posts: 4188 | From: The forest ! north of the dez. | Registered: Jul 2006
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4949shooter
SECOND PLACE HIGGINS (MAGNUM P.I.) LOOK A LIKE CONTEST
Member # 3530
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posted March 31, 2019 09:26 AM
Sounds like you have advised him well. Kudos to you and your son.
Posts: 2274 | From: New Jersey | Registered: Dec 2009
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Leonard
HMFIC
Member # 2
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posted March 31, 2019 11:15 AM
Agreed. Lance, sounds like you provide the free legal advice your boy needs. At least he listens, mine is still too smart and has never lost an argument.
My son's personal choices isn't so much druggies. He much prefers "stupidos" and fatties with no assets, just liabilities. He NEEDS a woman who will take control and of course, avoids that at all cost.
Reminds me of my cousins wife, Betty Ann. She went to his work every Friday at noon and pick up his check! That way, being broke, Mike had to come straight home, instead of blowing money the family needed to survive. This is a gorgeous woman who, two weeks previously, had wrapped herself in cellophane, naked, tied with a red ribbon and she laid on the floor just inside the front door for several sweaty hours, waiting for him to come home. The fool never did, and you can't make this stuff up. lol
Good hunting. El Bee
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EL BEE Knows It All and Done It All.
Don't piss me off!
Posts: 31459 | From: Upland, CA | Registered: Jan 2003
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DanS
Scorched Earth (AZ Sector)
Member # 316
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posted March 31, 2019 05:15 PM
I hope your son wins the battle with the chemicals. Addiction as we all know can be a mean MF'er.
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futuaris nisi irrisus ridebis
Saepe Expertus, Semper Fidelis, Fratres Aeterni:
Often Tested, Always Faithful. Brothers Forever!
Posts: 1465 | From: flyover country | Registered: Feb 2004
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